When you visit with your girlfriends, one of the questions you always ask your friend is, “How are things going?” Usually, this is where we share some of the details of our lives. The good, the bad, and the ugly, since the last time you saw each other. Right?
Well, how do you answer that question with the friend you are catching up with has an illness?
The answer is simple…the same way you would answer that question if your friend was not ill. I recall the dark days in my bed and catching up with friends who apparently never had anything going on. Our conversations were superficial and left me feeling more disconnected than ever. I never understood or questioned my friends when I did find out all the great things happening–but it was hurtful. And while I agree it can be challenging to maintain your relationship and treat someone ill as “normal” as possible, it is an absolute must.
I have a friend suffering from a major illness. I started battling the symptoms of fibromyalgia about 2 years before she started her battle with cancer.
Last week I enjoyed a visit with my friend and as we started to catch up, and exchange stories from the last 5 months since our last visit, my mind started to wander. All of these feelings of guilt and sorrow started to overwhelm me. I felt guilty for moving forward, and planning ahead. For the first time, I understood why my girlfriends did not share their outside life with me…
Why? Because I feel guilty.
Somehow the details of my life seem insignificant and not worthy of sharing in comparison to my girlfriend’s struggles. My friendships mean the world to me and I would never intentionally hurt a friend, especially a sick one, so I gave her all the juicy details. Then we laughed–and cried.
Because I got by with a little help from my girlfriends, I want to help you get help from your girlfriends. As always, please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.
Carmen M. Perez, Travel Planner
Your Florida Travel Expert and Girlfriends’ Getaway Specialist
You dream it, I plan it, you deserve it.
Call me now to get pampered, play around, or just bounce back, with your girlfriends –and without all the drama.
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- Girlfriends: How Do You Nurture Your Friendships? (bouncebackjournal.wordpress.com)